Tuesday, May 26, 2009

What would I do if I were Doug Wilson?

Oh yeah, I forgot I was supposed to write stuff... point of having a site... right? Here goes:

So lately there has been lots of talk about what the Sharks should do in the off-season. Who to sign and resign, stuff like that. Well, I have three steps to make the Sharks better.

1. Trade Joe Thornton

Don't get me wrong, but I love Joe Thornton. Why would I do this? Well I have devised a plan to make this work. Lately people been saying Nabokov isn't that good anymore. Therefore we'll trade Joe Thornton to the Columbus Blue Jackets for Steve Mason. Thing is, we won't actually trade Joe Thornton. We'll have Christian Ehrhoff dress up as Joe Thornton, wear #19 and everything. Now, Joe Thornton will forever be known as Christian Ehrhoff. Shhhhh... No one will ever know.

2. Sign the Sedin Twins

As many of you know, signing the Sedin Twins would put the Sharks over the Cap limit. Oh well. I found a way to make this work. The Sedins will get the "league minimum payment." What others don't know is Doug Wilson will also put 14 million dollars in an offshore bank account in the name of "Randall Stephens." Sedins will take the money from Stephens, and no one will know about the money. The Sedins will be happy with the money, and Shark fans will be happy with the Sedin Twins on the Sharks.

3. Get Ice Girls

Yes. The San Jose Sharks need ice girls. The last two season the Sharks lost to Anaheim and Dallas in the playoffs. Anaheim and Dallas both have ice girls. If the Sharks get ice girls, they'll get used to playing in front of them and won't be so nervous in the playoffs. Plus all the fans will be happy.

See my friends. With these three easy, simple steps the San Jose Sharks will be an even better team and will surely win the Stanley Cup.

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