Monday, April 26, 2010

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Adventure of the Day: Pain

The following takes place between 9:10 AM and 10:00 AM

9:10 Off to PE! My favorite class. It's really just recess but for high school.

9:13 We're playing dodgeball? Awesome.

9:25 God I'm such a good dodgeball player. I'm awesome. I love myself so much.

9:30 So yeah you're gonna stand two feet away with me with a ball huh? Well I have a ball too. I'm gonna wait for you to throw, I'll dodge, and get you out.

9:30 and 5 seconds later OWWWWWWWWWWWW. Did I really get hit in the balls by a kid who sucks at dodgeball? Walk it off, no one saw.

9:35 So yeah I'm okay now. Let's just focus on winning another game now.

9:40 Ooh look at this guy. He thinks he's good. Probably thinks he can get me out. Ball me Blazer!

9:41 Okay I got a ball now but another kid is standing right in front of me. Oh look that guy throws the ball, damn he's probably going to hit that kid right in the face. Whoa I'm right behind him, I should dodge too.

9:41 and 2 seconds later WOW REALLY? AGAIN? OWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW'D THAT EVEN HIT ME? It was going to hit the other kid in the face and all of a sudden it takes a dip and hits me in the nuts again.

9:43 Oh awesome the teacher is making fun of me now.

10:00 PE is over. Carry on with your day now.

Today wasn't very fun. I was going to try to make this related to the Sharks but I give up. Closest I can get is Sharks got kicked in the nuts twice yesterday.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Excellent Journalism: Why don't we see it more often?

Everyone look at this picture:

Look at it for ten seconds, get a good look. Think about it for a little more.This right here is a man of brilliance. He recently wrote an article for the Denver Post about the San Jose Sharks. Now, I often read about the Sharks at websites such as Fear the Fin, Couch Tarts, Working the Corners, just to name a few. However they all lack something. They just don't get it. Kiszla (who's name is to weird to spell and now will be referred to as "Kizzy") understands. He see's things other people don't. And what he does see... it's great. Take a look at the article, you'll see.
Not only does this man "get it," he knows how to write. He writes compelling arguments that knock my socks off (so much, I used the phrase "Knocks my socks off").

Take a look.
Argument:

So you gotta love Avalanche coach Joe Sacco for messing with the heads of players in San Jose, which might be the most feeble-minded team in pro hockey.


Evidence:

"We are the underdog, no question. I think the pressure is on San Jose," Sacco said Monday. "If you look at the last few years, (the Sharks) haven't met their expectations as a team. I think they had higher expectations than what they've achieved. And it's going to be our job this year to try to make sure that happens again."

You see, when asked a question about the Sharks, their opponent, Colorado coach Joe Sacco responded by giving a brief explanation about the team and pointed out he wants to win. Seriously, who does that?! People like Kizzy see what's really going on. By answering a question about the Sharks, Sacco is actually trying to get inside the minds of the Sharks.



This has been working out quite well actually. Here is a quote from Ryane Clowe, a right-winger for the Sharks:

“If they’re thinking that way, they’re in trouble probably,” he said. “It’s mo re them trying to get any edge they can and get in our head a bit. It means no difference to us. You’re in trouble if that’s going to effect you." -WTC

As old McDonald used to say, BINGO! This psychological warfare is already wearing down the Sharks. By saying he doesn’t care about what Colorado says, he really means he does. Sacco’s attempts to bring down the Sharks are working. Ryane Clowe is denying this because he is too afraid of facing the Avs.

Here is another example of Kizzy’s excellence:

In the name of accuracy, San Jose really should adopt an alternative uniform in April.

Dump that teal sweater with a shark chomping a hockey stick. That mean image doesn't fit the joke that San Jose becomes when the games really matter.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate if San Jose star Joe Thornton took the ice against Colorado while wearing an orange-and-white uniform featuring a cuddly cartoon from "Finding Nemo" as the team logo?

Can I get an AMEN. Having a NHL team named the Sharks is absolutely ridiculous. When people list things they’re afraid of, Sharks are usually at the end of the list. Who would have a phobia of Sharks? Living in California I can tell you one thing, when I go to the beach, nobody is afraid of Sharks.


To help his point Kizzy references Finding Nemo. YES. Too many Hollywood movies have been made about cute-cuddly Sharks. Want another example?

Shark Tale. Boom roasted.


Honestly, being a Sharks fan having to face the Avs worry me. Avalanches are one of my biggest fears. I cannot tell you how many times I wake up in the middle of the night fearing an avalanche fall on me. I have seen far too many horror movies about avalanches. There are way more scary movies about avalanches than about sharks. Everyone, please. Try to think about a scary movie about the sharks. Give it a few seconds. Yeah that’s right, none. Only thing that comes to your mind is Shark Tale.


Photo from Flickr


Look at these ridiculous Sharks fans doing a “chomp” to the music of what I believe to be from Shark Tale.


I could go on and on about the brilliance of Kizzy. After reading an article like this I always ask myself, “Why can’t more people be like this?”

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Logan Couture ♥

He really is that cool.


Also: TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH

Monday, April 5, 2010

April

It's that time again. Every year we get ready for this. The whole season comes down to this, the very end. The moment everyone is waiting for. And every year the Sharks lose

and win. Yes, I'm talking about the last few games of the regular season.

These games are so meaningless, yet matter so much. (Wait, what?)

Three more games remain and us Sharks fans are getting nervous. I mean it's only natural right? I keep trying to remember what Sharks hockey in the playoffs is like but I can't. I've blocked it out of my memory so I have no recollection on what actually goes on.

Back to the point. Why are we nervous and anxious? The Sharks right now aren't playing 100% awesome. They're playing okay. Not great or even fantastical. We wonder if they can "turn it on" during the playoffs.

Even if the Sharks were playing fantastical I bet we would still be nervous and anxious. The question would be, "Can the Sharks keep it up in the playoffs?"

And now to the conclusion of the post, the main point: The end of the regular season sucks.

The playoffs are around and we've been waiting for it the whole season! We want everything to go perfect. Imagine winning that... thing.

Well I've thought this through and tried to figure out a solution. Interestingly enough I've got one!

Make the season 102 games long. Schedule it and everything. Then, when you get to the 80 game mark or so, call for the end of the regular season! Yes! It makes so much sense. We won't have to deal with this stuff anymore.

I know, I know. Besides this being a brilliantly awesome idea, it is extremely stupid. BUT, it is so stupid Gary Bettman might consider it (Insult Bettman? Check).