Ideas From the Tank

The Only Season that Matters

2011-03-25T18:45:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's that time of the year again. The end of March is the beginning of the end of the NHL regular season. This of course means the playoffs are right around the corner. As a fan of the San Jose Sharks I absolutely despise this time of the year. Why you ask? For very obvious reasons. The Sharks have never won a Stanley Cup. I mean, what meaning does the Stanley Cup playoffs have if the Sharks have never won? To Sharks fans, the playoffs have absolutely no point. Playoffs should be completely ignored and shouldn't even matter to a Sharks fan. Everybody knows that history repeats itself. Looking at history, the Stanley Cup will never be in San Jose.

Year after year, fans put blind faith into this team that faces an impossible task. This phenomenon takes place after the regular season. Guess what, that's my other least favorite part of the year. Yeah sure, it has "tons of action" with the Sharks winning lots of games. But what's funny about this thing, the regular season doesn't matter at all. You don't win a trophy for being the best regular season team. Well, actually you win the Presidents Trophy but nobody cares about that. The regular season means nothing to the record books, only what happens in the playoffs. Yeah, please point out Joe Thornton winning the Hart or Jonathan Cheechoo winning the Richard. It's all crap and meaningless.

If I hate the playoffs and regular season so much, why the hell am I a Sharks fan? I will tell you why. I love it for the action that takes place on the ice. I love hockey and games that I can buy tickets for cheap. The games are played with little expectations and with 3/4ths of fans in attendance. There are enormous amounts of fights taking place and there are high goal scoring rates. Rookies battle it out to see who is the best. Douglas Murray scores hat tricks and Kent Huskins makes Ryane Clowe bleed. Yeah, tell me where else I can get this thrill from watching hockey.

This type of hockey only takes place in the only season that matters: The Pre-season

Antti Niemi: Tragic Hero (minus the hero part)

2011-02-22T22:00:00.000-08:00

On September 2nd of 2010 Antti Niemi signed with the San Jose Sharks. Nearly all Sharks fans had their doubts about this. It made no sense, it was already decided that Antero Nittymaki was going to be part of a tandem with Thomas Greiss. The move to sign Niemi didn't seem to improve the Sharks, a lateral move at best. A move to add a defenseman, a position of need, never came. Fans saw an opportunity to improve the team but with Niemi taking up cap space, that opportunity was not realistic. It was a baffling situation.

Today, in February, we find out these doubts still hold. Niemi has been awful. He has been playing just as everybody has expected him to; huge rebounds and depending on the teams defense. Sure, sure please throw out those stats that suggest he has been completely outplaying Niittymaki. Those numbers mean nothing. It's much too big to be a coincidence that when the Sharks lose a game with Niemi, it's his fault and when the Sharks win, it's because the team in front plays well.

Niemi isn't what you call a "team player." He's not somebody you want to play for. Obviously there's some ill-will towards Niemi after he beat the Sharks last season in the playoffs. It's clear in the concrete stats of wins and losses. Ok, maybe Niemi has 20 wins but he also has 15 losses (!!!). Niittymaki on the other hand only has 6. This gives some indication on how the team feels about him. When he's in net, the Sharks don't want to score goals. Clear as that. Now I don't want to start any baseless speculation or conspiracy theories but I'm guessing it's obvious that Niemi is a locker-room cancer, more so than Dany Heatley.

Despite Niemi's many shortcomings, he does prove well in one regard. He has a history of being offensively gifted, and he has shown this in the 1 assist he has recorded. It came on the power play too. Guess how many points Niittymaki has. It's a big fat zero, the only area Niitty has been disappointing. Also, even though they didn't play together, it seems like Niitty learned something from Brad Staubitz; taking dumb penalties. He has 2 PIM so far this season. At least Niemi has none.

So, what should the Sharks do about this situation? Trade, waive, do whatever to Niemi so he's not on the team anymore. The team has so much depth, literally anyone in the entire organization could do better than him in goal. And yes, that includes Jonathan Cheechoo who should be up with the big club when underachievers like Devin Setoguchi and Jamie McGinn are (I'll save that argument for another post).

Why you should fear Joe Thornton as Captain

2010-10-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

We all knew this day was coming. IT was going to happen. It was just a matter of when.

(photoshop of Joe at the apocalypse).

Yes. Joe Thornton is now captain of the San Jose Sharks. Yes, be worried. Why? Let me tell you a story of what happens when somebody becomes Captain.

We'll name this guy "Player A."

Um, totally forgot I was working on this piece from October. All I know is that I had great fantastic amazing thoughts to put down, but forgot what they were. Posting this because... why not.

RFA Devin Setoguchi Re-signs with the Sharks

2010-07-31T21:32:00.000-07:00

Today Devin Setoguchi re-signed with the Sharks for $1.8 million on a one year deal. This figure appeared surprisingly low for the up and coming right winger. In his sophomore season he scored 31 goals on the top line. This last season he scored only 20 after being slowed down by injuries. It was believed that he would sign around 2.00-3.00MM. Instead the former first-round pick signed for 1.8MM. Shocking.

Actually no. Not really.

Just one month ago Sharks defensman Niclas Wallin was re-signed to a contract with a 2.5MM cap hit. Yes, a surprising number at the time. Why would the Sharks pay so much for what appears to be a lower line defenseman? Also why would the Sharks trade a 2nd round pick for him?

Were facing a lot of questions here. However when you think about it, it really makes a whole lot of sense.

Before you start reading this, let's make sure you're not in a stressful situation. The next part is MIND-BLOWING.

First question: Why is Niclas Wallin valued so much by the Sharks?

One word, HAMBURGERS. Wallin is notoriously known as an avid hamburger lover. But what does Hamburgers have to do with this? Everything (duh). He came at a high cost for a second round pick for a reason. The Hurricanes valued him for a lot and weren't letting him get away easy. You see, Wallin owned a burger joint in Raleigh. This burger joint was very important for the area. That is why when you google "Niclas Wallin burger joint raleigh" nothing shows up. These people were all very attached and couldn't move on so easily, so they deleted all traces to it.

Second question: Why is Wallin being paid so much?

As you know, Wallin's burger joint had many fans. When they learned that the place was closing down they became angry, and I mean ANGRY. Let's just say they hypothetically threatened to do horrific things to Wallin and the people he knows. If Wallin hypothetically wanted to get rid of these people, he would have to hypothetically need a lot of money to hypothetically make these people "quietly disappear." This is all hypothetical of course.

Third question: Why is Devin Setoguchi being paid so little?

He's actually a really good guy. Kind of a douche, but a good guy (I mean there's a reason he's known as Devin the Douche). He heard about Wallin's trouble and decided to ask Doug Wilson if there was a way he could help out. Being Devin the Douche, he's been in a lot of similar situations. Most of which, your mother would not approve of. He took a huge discount so Wallin could solve his troubles. He actually asked for a league minimum contract but DW decided that would make him look to good so he gave him 1.8MM.

Understand people? This situation was a thinker, but it just makes too much sense. Now if Wallin wasn't such a burger-addict, his and Seto's contracts would have been reversed. So in the end, well played Sharks!

Chicago is stupid.

2010-05-23T15:56:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to sit here and brainlessly point out Chicago Blackhawks's flaws—we all know it has them—but I am going to say a little about how Chicago Blackhawks is intellectually dishonest in everything it says and does. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I'm referring to. I'm not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. Am I angry? You bet. Chicago Blackhawks has no conception of our moral and ethical standards. I trust that I have not shocked any of you by writing that. However, I do realize that some of my readers may feel that much of what I have penned about Chicago Blackhawks in this letter is heartless and in violation of our Christian duty to love everyone. If so, I can say only that an injustice anywhere is an injustice everywhere. Keep that in mind the next time you catch Chicago Blackhawks nurturing the seeds of our eventual destruction so that they grow like a rapidly malignant mutant form of kudzu.

The baneful nature of Chicago Blackhawks's commentaries is not just a rumor. It is a fact to which I can testify. Once again, Chicago Blackhawks could use some etiquette lessons. In reaching that conclusion I have made the usual assumption that its bedfellows can't defend their insinuations. I will now cite the proof of that statement. The proof begins with the observation that we ought to break the neck of Chicago Blackhawks's policy of favoritism once and for all. That'll make Chicago Blackhawks think once—I would have said "twice" but I don't see any indication that it has previously given any thought to the matter—before trying to rouse the agitated petite bourgeoisie to chauvinistic fervor and hoodwink them into transforming our whole society to suit its own antihumanist interests. I'm convinced that Chicago Blackhawks will put the prisoners in charge of running the prison one of these days. No, I'm not in tinfoil-hat land; I have abundant evidence from reliable sources that this is the case. For instance, Chicago Blackhawks accuses me of being narrow-minded. Does it maintain I'm narrow-minded because I refuse to accept its claim that inane, mingy spoiled brats have dramatically lower incidences of cancer, heart attacks, heart disease, and many other illnesses than the rest of us? If so, then I guess I'm as narrow-minded as I could possibly be.

How on earth these vagabonds can think of themselves as anything but hypocritical, logorrheic jackanapes is beyond me. You should never forget the three most important facets of Chicago Blackhawks's tricks, namely their officious origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature. Not to change the subject or anything, but Chicago Blackhawks never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that its idiotic claim that it has answers to everything is just that, an idiotic claim. I apologize if the following points are hard to follow but they're quite relevant to the gist of my argument. First, investigators who have spent many years attempting to penetrate the dark recesses of Chicago Blackhawks's bumptious underworld frequently conclude that I am disgusted by Chicago Blackhawks's overweening displays of moral leprosy. And second, Chicago Blackhawks is slated for an unwept grave. All of this means, of course, that by allowing Chicago Blackhawks to grasp at straws, trying to find increasingly cacodemonic ways to get people to vote against their own self-interests, we are allowing it to play puppet master. And there you have it. Debate with Chicago Blackhawks or a search for common ground is both a fruitless exercise and a suicidal strategy.

Joe Pavelski: American Hero

2010-04-26T20:35:00.001-07:00

Adventure of the Day: Pain

2010-04-15T16:54:00.000-07:00

The following takes place between 9:10 AM and 10:00 AM

9:10 Off to PE! My favorite class. It's really just recess but for high school.

9:13 We're playing dodgeball? Awesome.

9:25 God I'm such a good dodgeball player. I'm awesome. I love myself so much.

9:30 So yeah you're gonna stand two feet away with me with a ball huh? Well I have a ball too. I'm gonna wait for you to throw, I'll dodge, and get you out.

9:30 and 5 seconds later OWWWWWWWWWWWW. Did I really get hit in the balls by a kid who sucks at dodgeball? Walk it off, no one saw.

9:35 So yeah I'm okay now. Let's just focus on winning another game now.

9:40 Ooh look at this guy. He thinks he's good. Probably thinks he can get me out. Ball me Blazer!

9:41 Okay I got a ball now but another kid is standing right in front of me. Oh look that guy throws the ball, damn he's probably going to hit that kid right in the face. Whoa I'm right behind him, I should dodge too.

9:41 and 2 seconds later WOW REALLY? AGAIN? OWWWWWWWWWWWW HOW'D THAT EVEN HIT ME? It was going to hit the other kid in the face and all of a sudden it takes a dip and hits me in the nuts again.

9:43 Oh awesome the teacher is making fun of me now.

10:00 PE is over. Carry on with your day now.

Today wasn't very fun. I was going to try to make this related to the Sharks but I give up. Closest I can get is Sharks got kicked in the nuts twice yesterday.

Excellent Journalism: Why don't we see it more often?

2010-04-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

Everyone look at this picture:

Look at it for ten seconds, get a good look. Think about it for a little more.This right here is a man of brilliance. He recently wrote an article for the Denver Post about the San Jose Sharks. Now, I often read about the Sharks at websites such as Fear the Fin, Couch Tarts, Working the Corners, just to name a few. However they all lack something. They just don't get it. Kiszla (who's name is to weird to spell and now will be referred to as "Kizzy") understands. He see's things other people don't. And what he does see... it's great. Take a look at the article, you'll see.
Not only does this man "get it," he knows how to write. He writes compelling arguments that knock my socks off (so much, I used the phrase "Knocks my socks off").

Take a look.
Argument:

So you gotta love Avalanche coach Joe Sacco for messing with the heads of players in San Jose, which might be the most feeble-minded team in pro hockey.

Evidence:

"We are the underdog, no question. I think the pressure is on San Jose," Sacco said Monday. "If you look at the last few years, (the Sharks) haven't met their expectations as a team. I think they had higher expectations than what they've achieved. And it's going to be our job this year to try to make sure that happens again."

You see, when asked a question about the Sharks, their opponent, Colorado coach Joe Sacco responded by giving a brief explanation about the team and pointed out he wants to win. Seriously, who does that?! People like Kizzy see what's really going on. By answering a question about the Sharks, Sacco is actually trying to get inside the minds of the Sharks.

This has been working out quite well actually. Here is a quote from Ryane Clowe, a right-winger for the Sharks:

“If they’re thinking that way, they’re in trouble probably,” he said. “It’s mo re them trying to get any edge they can and get in our head a bit. It means no difference to us. You’re in trouble if that’s going to effect you." -WTC

As old McDonald used to say, BINGO! This psychological warfare is already wearing down the Sharks. By saying he doesn’t care about what Colorado says, he really means he does. Sacco’s attempts to bring down the Sharks are working. Ryane Clowe is denying this because he is too afraid of facing the Avs.

Here is another example of Kizzy’s excellence:

In the name of accuracy, San Jose really should adopt an alternative uniform in April.

Dump that teal sweater with a shark chomping a hockey stick. That mean image doesn't fit the joke that San Jose becomes when the games really matter.

Wouldn't it be more appropriate if San Jose star Joe Thornton took the ice against Colorado while wearing an orange-and-white uniform featuring a cuddly cartoon from "Finding Nemo" as the team logo?

Can I get an AMEN. Having a NHL team named the Sharks is absolutely ridiculous. When people list things they’re afraid of, Sharks are usually at the end of the list. Who would have a phobia of Sharks? Living in California I can tell you one thing, when I go to the beach, nobody is afraid of Sharks.

To help his point Kizzy references Finding Nemo. YES. Too many Hollywood movies have been made about cute-cuddly Sharks. Want another example?

Shark Tale. Boom roasted.

Honestly, being a Sharks fan having to face the Avs worry me. Avalanches are one of my biggest fears. I cannot tell you how many times I wake up in the middle of the night fearing an avalanche fall on me. I have seen far too many horror movies about avalanches. There are way more scary movies about avalanches than about sharks. Everyone, please. Try to think about a scary movie about the sharks. Give it a few seconds. Yeah that’s right, none. Only thing that comes to your mind is Shark Tale.

Photo from Flickr

Look at these ridiculous Sharks fans doing a “chomp” to the music of what I believe to be from Shark Tale.

I could go on and on about the brilliance of Kizzy. After reading an article like this I always ask myself, “Why can’t more people be like this?”

Logan Couture ♥

2010-04-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

He really is that cool.

Also: TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETH

April

2010-04-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

It's that time again. Every year we get ready for this. The whole season comes down to this, the very end. The moment everyone is waiting for. And every year the Sharks lose

and win. Yes, I'm talking about the last few games of the regular season.

These games are so meaningless, yet matter so much. (Wait, what?)

Three more games remain and us Sharks fans are getting nervous. I mean it's only natural right? I keep trying to remember what Sharks hockey in the playoffs is like but I can't. I've blocked it out of my memory so I have no recollection on what actually goes on.

Back to the point. Why are we nervous and anxious? The Sharks right now aren't playing 100% awesome. They're playing okay. Not great or even fantastical. We wonder if they can "turn it on" during the playoffs.

Even if the Sharks were playing fantastical I bet we would still be nervous and anxious. The question would be, "Can the Sharks keep it up in the playoffs?"

And now to the conclusion of the post, the main point: The end of the regular season sucks.

The playoffs are around and we've been waiting for it the whole season! We want everything to go perfect. Imagine winning that... thing.

Well I've thought this through and tried to figure out a solution. Interestingly enough I've got one!

Make the season 102 games long. Schedule it and everything. Then, when you get to the 80 game mark or so, call for the end of the regular season! Yes! It makes so much sense. We won't have to deal with this stuff anymore.

I know, I know. Besides this being a brilliantly awesome idea, it is extremely stupid. BUT, it is so stupid Gary Bettman might consider it (Insult Bettman? Check).

Breaking News

2010-03-22T19:14:00.000-07:00

The Sharks are not good for my mental health.

They're like uppers and downers.

They make me extremely happy at times.

They are also make me very sad at times.

At least I'm not taking the uppers and downers at the same time.

Hopefully they make me feel better from now on.

This post was not intended to be poetic. If it seems that way... cool. I wrote a notverygood poem.

Funny Story

2010-03-14T20:10:00.001-07:00

My family is full of Sharks fans. I have three sisters. My oldest sister is a season ticket holder. My youngest sister is crazy like me. My other sister? She's a puck bunny (A case could be made for the other two, but it doesn't matter for this story).

So the puck bunny mentioned above was wandering about in Santana Row a few weeks ago, when she saw Brad Staubitz. He's her favorite player so she was pretty excited. He was headed to the gym when she approached him and asked to take a picture. He gladly agreed and she had his friend take the picture.

Well fast forward to yesterday morning. My youngest sister and I were reading Ask The Sharks with Jamie McGinn. The puck bunny one glanced by and just said, "Oh my God oh my god oh my God." We're like, "You like this one too?" She says, "No, I think that was Brad Staubitz's friend."

Yes you read this right. Not only did my sister get a picture with Brad Stuabitz, she made Jamie McGinn take it.

Top 5 things I have learned from Bleacher Report

2010-01-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

5. Evgeni Nabokov will never win in the playoffs. It's impossible. Even if he wins.
4. Logan Couture is already a bust (He won't play for the Sharks because centers Joe Pavelski, Torrey Mitchell, Manny Malhotra, and Scott Nichol will be blocking the way in the future).
3. Dan Boyle, Scott Nichol, and Joe Pavelski are the only players on the Sharks with a heart.*
2. Unless you're Dan Boyle, you will suck at being a Captain (really! Rob Blake is already a bad Captain).
1. Patrick Marleau is the reason for all Sharks early exits from the playoffs.

*This is mentioned by many places aside from Bleacher Report. I have pondered why this idea exists. I believe this idea stems from the Little Guy Illusion.

The Little Guy Illusion isn't actually anything (yet). It is a theory I have come up with to explain the phenomenon of shorter guys who are said to show more hustle and heart than guys that are taller. Since little guys have shorter legs, they are forced to take more strides giving the illusion that they are hustling. One adverse effect of the illusion is taller guys look like they aren't hustling.

This theory is still being tested (in my head) but it seems fairly logical to me.

When the Sharks Lose...

2009-12-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

IT SHOWS HOW THIS TEAM HAS ABSOLUTELY ZERO HEART. THEY ARE COMPLETELY EMOTIONLESS. THEY'RE A WHOLE BUNCH OF CHOKERS. THEY WILL NEVER WIN THE STANLEY CUP WITH THIS TEAM.

But

When the Sharks win...

Oh yeah that's cool, it doesn't matter though. Regular season doesn't mean anything, everything counts in the playoffs. Patrick Marleau played in his 900th game? Totally meaningless with no Cup.

Conversation's with Crazy People: Dany Heatley, Bryan Murray, and some dude from California

2009-12-04T13:22:00.000-08:00

Remember that conversation I had with Dany Heatley a while back? Yeah it turns out something else went on. I was recently watching a Sharks game against the Blues and some dude wearing #15. I was kinda confused because no one on the Sharks wears that number right? Nope turns out someone does. I went to SJSharks.com and turns out Dany Heatley broke a promise to me. Dany Heatley is playing for the Sharks. That lying jerk... grrr. So I called him up after the game (#2 on speed dial whatup) and asked him what went on. He revealed how this stuff happened. On this journey he came across several people (okay just Doug Wilson and Bryan Murray).

Here's how his journey went on.

Dany Heatley in his locker room while with the Sens (Yes he had his own locker room because nobody liked him):

Dany Heatley: You know what Dany?
Dany Heatley: What?
Dany Heatley: You're fucking awesome.
Dany Heatley: Dude I know, riiight!
Dany Heatley: You don't want to play with the Sens anymore. Their friggin' team name is Senators! I feel like you want to play for a team with a name of an animal, that is located on the West Coast, and most likely teal is there color!
Dany Heatley: Dude! That's brilliant! Wait what's a West Coast? They make that?
Dany Heatley: Oh it's just the other side of the country. Apparently people play hockey there, but I don't believe it.
Dany Heatley: Oh... hey that sounds like a good idea I suppose.
Dany Heatley: How are we going to make this happen?
Dany Heatley: I wonder...
Both Dany Heatley's at the same time: DEMAND A TRADE!!
Dany Heatley: Privately though right?
Dany Heatley: Most definitely.

Somewhere in Canada. Dany Heatley with Bryan Murray:

Dany Heatley: Hey whats up.
Bryan Murray: Not much. you?
Dany Heatley: Nothing really. The end of the season bores me. I've just been playing golf and stuff. I think I'm going to demand a trade.
Bryan Murray: Aw sweet! That's great. No one here likes you! OMG OMG OMG this is so great you want to leave.
Dany Heatley: Thanks?
Bryan Murray: Alright I'll go ask around too see if I could work a trade.
Dany Heatley: Okay, get back to me.
Bryan Murray: Oh yeah I'm going to accidentally have some leak this news so everyone hates you.
Dany Heatley: You mean hate me even more because I awesome right?
Bryan Murray: Er... yeah.

Somewhere in the Western Hemisphere Doug Wilson and Bryan Murray

Bryan Murray: Want that Dany Heaterly guy??
Doug Wilson: Sure why not. I'll buy low.
Bryan Murray: Okay I want Marleau, Setoguchi, and a first rounder
Doug Wilson: Is it fine if I give you a Michalek, Cheechoo, and a second rounder?
Bryan Murray: Sure whatevs. Dany Heatley isn't going to be on the Sens anymore!
Doug Wilson: Wait whys that a good thing? I hear he's okay at hockey.
Bryan Murray: He's a locker room cancer. He makes the team worse!
Doug Wilson: OK you believe that...

Dany Heatley enters... where ever they are

Bryan Murray: So uh yeah. Dany you're going to play for that one west coast team.
Dany Heatley: Wait what seriously? I wonder what that's going to be like.
Doug Wilson: Hey broski! Dude the San Jose Sharks are totally rad man. After every game we melt the ice and go surfing. It so sunny man. We have to like wear sunglasses all the time because it's so sunny. Even during games. Also there are tanning beds we don't need but use them anyway.
Dany Heatley: Sounds nice, eh?
Doug Wilson: Yeah man totally. Also some guy named Joe Thornton plays here. He's pretty good.
Dany Heatley: But not as good as me right?
Doug Wilson: Hey man I don't know. He's really good.
Dany Heatley: I don't know about that trade then...

Bryan Murray pulls Doug Wilson aside

Bryan Murray: DOUGIE! What the hell are you doing!
Doug Wilson: Telling it like it is.
Bryan Murray: Well stop. Dany wants to know he's the best.

Dany Heatley rejoins in

Doug Wilson: So what I was saying is Joe Thornton sucks really bad. You're the best on the team.
Dany Heatley: Really? I think I like this trade. HELLO... city? wait where's this team?
Doug Wilson: San Jose. It's in Calif- nevermind. Wait before you leave man, I need you to do one thing.
Dany Heatley: What? It better not involve backchecking.
Doug Wilson: No not really. Just play really good hockey.
Dany Heatley: Okay I will because I'm Dany Fucking Heatley.

Disclaimer: This conversation never happened (in real life).

Sharks Gameday: Sharks vs. Penguins

2009-11-07T16:34:00.000-08:00

(Hehe I made a gameday post)

I'm 100% sure the Sharks have a chance at winning this game. Sadly the Penguins also have a 100% chance of winning this game. Here are the three keys to the game if the Sharks want to win.

Three Keys:

Limit the other team to as little goals as possible.
Score as many goals as humanly possible.
Have fun

Patrick Marleau is a terrible hockey player. Look at these stats!!

2009-11-03T20:33:00.000-08:00

Just kidding you fell for the hook. Anyways here's a real post for ya:

Lot's of people been saying Patrick Marleau is doing great this year (22 points in 16 games, third in the league) just because he's not Captain anymore. It bugs the hell out of me that people fail to acknowledge him as a great hockey player, only as the guy who lost the "C." Yeah remember last year Patrick Marleau was Captain? He had 38 goals, eleventh in the league and that's pretty damn good. Not to mention he's arguably one of the leagues best two-way players.

Right now something's kind of weird. I feel like I'm the only one under the impression that Patrick Marleau would be playing the same way right now, with or without the "C." Then the Patrick Marleau unappreciative fan club comes out and says, "Patrick Marleau has no heart, he plays with no emotion, he chokes in the playoffs blah blah blah."

Fact of the matter is, he does show up. With the "C" he had a career year last year. In the playoffs he had 2 game-winning goals WITH a sprained MCL (my friend had a sprained MCL and he had a big-ass brace on it. it had screws and stuff to put it into perspective).

Patty apologists like to throw around his stats on how ridiculously good his stats (thanks mymclife, for the pic and if you're reading this!) were in the playoffs. Patty haters like to point out that when the Sharks do lose a series in the playoffs, Patty's stats are less then stellar. IMO this just shows how much the team depends on Patrick Marleau. If the whole team loses in the playoffs just don't blame it on Patty.

To simply put it, Patrick Marleau is a a great hockey player. Captain or not he is a team player (he let Dany Heatley drive his car when he got to SJ. Did you read that right? he risked his car!). Whether the fans love him or hate him and the media hates him he shows up. He puts that behind him and plays some great hockey (to bad they won't make him a commercial for him. "Patrick Marleau is a terrible scapegoat. But he's a great hockey player!" -FTF comment that someone needs to claim!).

/vomits. This write-up was way more serious then I'm used to.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

2009-10-31T13:11:00.001-07:00

(Insert boring title)

2009-10-27T18:10:00.001-07:00

Wow. This guy sounds like he should be captain.

Sooooooo....

2009-10-17T09:43:00.000-07:00

You know when I said this site would have much more activity since the season started? Yeah I lied. School's a pain this year, and I don't like it! It's been almost 20 days since the last post...

Anyway, here's a real post for you. The Sharks have been struggling. Seven games into the season, the Sharks are 3-3-1. Last in the Pacific Division, 10th in the West. There are some reasons not to be worried, and some to be worried.

Reasons not to be worried? 7 games into the season. Come playoff time, no one will care about the 7 games. They wouldn't matter. Their brightest game came in game 2 vs. the Ducks. They outscored them 4-1. This shows what the Sharks can do (play really, really good). They will have the rest of the season to figure things out, and improve. It's a learning experience.

Reasons to worry? Only once in seven games they've had a dominating performance. In most games they came out flat in the first period. A weak 7 games can quickly turn into a weak beginning of the season, and to a weak first half and so on.

Am I worried? No. The regular season will be a tough journey for the Sharks, but throughout the journey they will grow as a team and play better. I mean they can't get worse!

Bonus sentences:

You know when last season the Sharks were slumping majorly? Then the team came out and said, "It's not panic time." I'd like to see a different attitude from the team this year. Rather then wait out for 10-20 games to "figure things out" I want the to have, "Let's get our shit together now!"

Rob Blake = New Captain of the San Jose Sharks

2009-09-30T16:52:00.000-07:00

My thoughts on this:

Meh.
If the coaching staff and the players think Rob Blake would be the best captain, he probably is.

Also explanation on why it's okay if Blakey only captains (captain is a verb right?) the team for a year:

Pretend the Sharks are Pirates (not the baseball team, that would be horrid) and need to fight people. They then pick Rob Blake as leader (aka captain) because he is the most experienced. He’s a good leader because he’s been there before and knows what to do. The next year comes and Rob Blake sadly dies in battle. The Sharks will pick a new Captain and he will learn how to lead based on Blake’s example.

FJM'ing Jay Feaster

2009-09-21T12:18:00.000-07:00

(Originally FanPosted at Fear the Fin... by me.)

Woohoo idunno723 ~~attempts~~ does another Fire Joe Morgan like FanPost!

Background on Fire Joe Morgan (by me of course):

I don't know if you guys are familiar with this blog called Fire Joe Morgan.. They were brilliant. Every terrible baseball article, they ripped them. It was fantastic. Sadly their blog ended but when I'm bored I still read old posts because they're awesome.

Recently FJM came back and made some articles on Deadspin and that got me all riled up. I am now inspired to ~~try to~~ make a FJM-like post. Thankfully Jay Feaster wrote this article.

*****

Jay Feaster's Blog: Trading for Heatley a mistake by San Jose

ZOMG PLAYOFF CHOKER!!11!!!1111

While it is still early, Bryan Murray is my front-runner for executive of the year honors this season. Murray took one very sour lemon and parlayed it into two refreshing glasses of lemonade by moving self-centered Dany Heatley to San Jose for solid NHLers Jonathan Cheechoo and Milan Michalek. The trade itself may not go down as one that rocked the sport, but, given the circumstances, Murray clearly pulled a rabbit from his hat and helped his hockey team in the process.

Bryan Murray is a genius. He got an aging right-winger in Jonathan Cheechoo and a I'm-never-going-to-reach-my-potential Milan Michalek. Bryan Murray wasn't even able to get a first round draft pick out of that deal.

Historically, I have been a Doug Wilson fan. He seemed to understand the importance of chemistry and the need to acquire players who value the crest on the front of their sweater more than the name on the back. Last year’s acquisition of Stanley Cup champion Dan Boyle from the Lightening was such a move. No one is more committed to the "team concept" than Dan. While the Sharks crashed and burned again in the first round last season, I believed they had started to turn a corner.

Dan Boyle is terrible. I think that's why he's a front-runner for the captaincy this year.

The acquisition of Heatley makes me rethink the future in San Jose. Wilson looks more like a mad scientist running about the lab tossing chemicals into the beaker with little regard to their compatibility, or combustibility, for that matter. Oh, Doug said the Sharks did their homework - and then some - before acquiring Heatley. Really?

Yep, that's right. Doug Wilson is friggin' crazy. 50 goal scorer who the hell want's that! Not to mention he'll be playing with Joe Thornton... PLAYOFF CHOKERS UNITE!!111!!!!!!11111

For a group that appears to need more leadership, grit and mental toughness, how is Heatley the answer? After signing a new long-term contract in Ottawa, (five years left, $7.5-million cap hit per season) Heatley decided he wanted out because he was unhappy with his "reduced role" under new head coach Cory Clouston. Imagine, a head coach with the courage of his convictions.

Dany Heatley with Joe Thornton...

What a shock to find a coach who believes that players, even superstar players who have scored 50 goals twice, must "earn" their ice time! Blasphemy! Second power play unit, reduced ice time, all designed not to keep Dany happy, but to help the team win more hockey games! Shocking!

............

If Sharks head coach Todd McLellan knows what is good for him he had better name Heatley captain of the team right now. What better way to keep Dany happy and show him he is loved? McLellan has already indicated he thinks he will place Heatley with ‘Jumbo’ Joe Thornton and Devin Setoguchi on the top line. Stop the presses! Did he have a choice?

Dany Heatley had a NTC. If he wanted to go to San Jose he would have waived it. Oh yeah never mind I forgot. He never wanted to go to San Jose... that's why he waived it!

What if he put Heatley with lesser lights such as Patrick Marleau and Ryan Clowe? Would the snub be enough for Dany to want out? Think Heatley will be on McLellan’s No. 1 power play unit? Is there any other option? (Because Heatley’s no-movement clause remains in full force in San Jose, he remains in control.)

Yeah, tell me again why Todd would do that? Why would Heatley not be on the No. 1 power play unit? It's not like he's a goal-scorer... wait....

McLellan’s job is no longer worrying about the group of players known as the Sharks. It is about the care and feeding of me-first Dany Heatley. Good luck, Todd. When the inmates run the asylum it’s usually the head coach who pays the price.

Yup. Dany Heatley already played in 1 preseason game... LOCKER ROOM CANCER HELLOOOOO!

Now burn me about my post.

Teal and White Photographs

2009-09-21T11:10:00.000-07:00

At the Teal and White game you could sit wherever you want. My sister and I got there a few minutes after the doors opened and we rushed to the glass. It was my first time sitting there. It was cool to see the action up close. There were a few hits by our seats, and um it was a little bit scary. Anyway I got a ton of cool pics

Um, I just thought this was a cool picture. Depth of field! Okay real hockey pics...

Kent Huskins

Frazier McLaren is a ghost. It was really cool to see him play.

Tyson Sexsmith was being really immature. They had to put him on timeout in the corner.

Dan Boyle

Steven Zalewski

National Anthem singer lady... who sang the National Anthem wrong... "silently gleaming..."

Hockey stick outta nowhere!

aw everyone's favorite Joe Pavelski

Joe vs. joe (The capital "J" represents Big Joe and the lowercase "j" represents Lil joe)

Some jerk kept leaning forward the whole game.

Joe Pavelski tells his hockey stick "Hold me"

The hockey stick responds by promptly kissing Joe Pavelski

Logan Couture sighting!

Joe Pavelski scores in the shoot-out

Brad Staubitz(!) scores in the shoot-out

Nick Petrecki scores in the shoot-out

Sharkie tells Sexy it's okay...

I have surpassed the 1,000 view mark. LET'S GO RIOT!!!

2009-09-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

To the viewer of the 1000th view and to Mr. K of Fear the Fin, I present you, the almighty E-Five:

[Editor's note]: If you work linked here from somewhere else, please don't leave me, read here often...

[Update 1:17 pm]: Puck Daddy put the "Semenov to Nichol T-Shirt" as one of his links. I got so excited I punched the first person I saw in the face (sorry mom).

[Update 3:17 pm]: First new person who makes a comment get's an E-five!

How to make a Alexei Semenov shirt turn into a Scott Nichol shirt.

2009-09-12T18:41:00.000-07:00

Early in the off-season I ventured of to the Sharks store. In there I saw this wonderful T-shirt on clearance for 5 dollars. I thought, I MUST have it. So I got it. A few week later it was announced that Semenov would not be on the Sharks team any longer. This broke my heart. Then a few weeks later the Sharks signed Scott Nichol. Until recently I learned that Scott Nichol would be wearing #21, the same as Semenov. I rejoiced. Lookits what I did:

Man I got really good value for that T-shirt. Also at Teal and White I'm am going to try to get Nichol to sign it. That would be awesome.

Heatley traded to the Sharks. Really it's true this time.

2009-09-12T11:59:00.000-07:00

blah blah blah, Milan Michalek and Jonathan Cheechoo are gone.

Meeting Devin Setoguchi

2009-09-11T15:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I was able to meet Devin Setoguchi at the Sharks store. It was pretty cool. Although when I talked to him, his answers sounded automated. Here was our conversation:

Me: Hey
Devin Setoguchi: Hey hows it going?
Me: Pretty good, how about you?
DS: Great!
(it sort of sounded like Tony. you know the tiger.)
Me: So are you ready for hockey season?
DS: You know it.

Anyway here's what I got from Devin Setoguchi:

Patrick Marleau gone

2009-09-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

Patrick Marleau is going to LA.

I'M SPEECHLESS although you could look forward to another rambling post in the near future.

/winks even though a tear falls down my face.

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S NOT TRUE DID YOU HEAR ME? IT'S NOT TRUE IT'S NOT TRUE, WHYS THIS BOLD AND ITALICS!!!! I DON'T CARE IT'S NOT TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET'S GO RIOT NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Line's: Last Season's vs. Next Season's

2009-09-05T23:11:00.000-07:00

Let's take a look at last season's lines vs. this season's lines:

Marleau-Thornton-Setoguchi
Michalek-Pavelski-Clowe
Moen-Mitchell-Cheechoo
Roenick-Goc-Grier

Vlasic-Blake
Boyle-Lukowich
Murray-Ehrhoff

Nabokov-Boucher
*(One of the various lineups put out there)

Sooooo those lines are nice, but what are they for this season's so far? (for the offseason at least):

Marleau-Thronton-Setoguchi
Michalek-Pavelski-Clowe
McGinn-Mitchell-Cheechoo
Shelly-Nichol-Staubitz

Vlasic-Blake
Boyle-Huskins
Murray-Joslin

Nabokov-Greiss

(Or something along those lines)

Those lines suck. They are no where near close to last season's team. The only good one is the fourth one with that tough "sandpaper." Doug Wilson's right, this team needs to be blown up. My proposal? It's definably a good one.

It's along the lines of Roster-Rape you could say. It's still definitely better than that weak-sauce Rosterbation... Okay here is what the Sharks need to do:

Trade Joe Thornotn for Daniel Carcillo.
Trade Patrick Marleau for Jarod Boll
Trade Devin Setoguchi for George Parros. Ew nevermind scratch that Parros is gross. Trade Seto for Riley Cote.
Trade Michalek, Pavelski, Clowe, McGinn, Mitchell, and Cheechoo for Eric Godard, Zach Stortini, David Clarkson, Krys Brach, Mike Brown, Tim Jackman. (Make this a multi-team trade. A REALLY multi-team trade. It may be complicated but it sure makes things easy for me...)
Trade Vlasic, Blake, ~~Ehrhoff~~ (oops), Boyle, Huskins, Joslin, and Murray for Cam Janssen, Colton Orr, Aaron Asham, Ian Laperriere, Shawn Thornton, and Eric Boulton. (again same case as above)
Trade Nabby and Greiss for B.J. Crombeen and Brandon Prust. (see above again!)

So when you see these lines the first thing you think of is "WTF?" You might want to make an argument but you're to stunned by the stupidity. Except it's not stupid and I'll tell you exactly why.

You may wonder why I chose to trade for those players. Here's why. They were top 17 players leading the league in fighting majors. With those 17 players they had a grand total of 327 fighting majors. Wow.

How would this work? The Sharks would move away from the traditional three forwards, two defenseman, and one goaltender. Who needs a goaltender? Not this team. They will move to six kick-ass skaters on the ice. Remember the Broad Street Bullies? Yeah they were tough but they scored their own goals. This "new" Sharks team won't need to do this. They'll just scare the crap out of the other team. Imagine that. They will make the other team so scared, they will be forced to shoot the puck in their own net. That my friends would be amazing.

This brings us to my proposed lines the Sharks should use. 20

Carcillo-Jarod-Cote-Godard-Stortini-Clarkson
Brach-Brown-Jackman-Janssen-Orr-Asham
Laperriere-Thornton-Boulton-Crombeen-Prust-Shelley
Nichol-Staubitz

(Nichol and Staubitz will have limited minutes, but they will be in-game injury replacements.)

Wow this is amazing. I bet I caught you off guard with my title of "Line's: Last Season's vs. Next Season's." Bet you thought this would contain useful analysis. Actually it does. One day some hockey team needs to try this method. I'm pretty sure it'd work and I'm 100% it would be entertaining.

This will probably never happen, but it should!

Woohoo!

2009-09-03T17:05:00.000-07:00

Next week will be a Shark-tastic week.

September 7-9th Sharks rookies will battle Ducks rookies at Sharks Ice. Hopefully I'll be attending some of those. I already printed out the rookie roster to start memorizing names and numbers. Should be a very cool experience.

September 10th Devin Setoguchi will be at the Sharks store. That'll be awesome as well. I'm planning on having him sign my Devin Setoguchi rookie card.

September 11th will be interesting because I have been informed the Sharks will be making a move. (I am totally make this up btw. I just have to make it a full Shark-tastic week)

If you just noticed there have been a lack of posts lately... where have you been?! It's been like this all off-season. Can't wait for the season to start! Now please?

ZOMG New Layout!!!!1!!11

2009-08-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

CALM YOURSELVES PEOPLE!

Wild (hockey) Fantasy O' Mine

2009-08-19T22:16:00.000-07:00

You know, it's the offseason. For most hockey fans its a time of boredom. A lot of bloggers fill up this time with Rosterbation. But not me. I'm nothing like that. I prefer to Roster-rape. You heard me right. Let's get this thing started.

San Jose Sharks. Let's look at the lines as of now:

Patrick Marleau-Joe Thornton-Devin Setoguchi
Milan Michalek-Joe Pavelski-Ryane Clowe
Jamie McGinn-Torrey Mitchell-Jonathan Cheechoo
Jody Shelley-Scott Nichol-Brad Staubitz

Evgeni Nabokov-Thomas Greiss

Now that's my preferred lines if the Sharks don't make anymore moves. Sadly that's over the cap. Sharks will have to make a move. Here's a list of something that will happen (in my world):

Milan Michalek for Alex Ovechkin? Seems fair to me.
Ryane Clowe for Zach Parise? Okay then.
Jonathan Cheechoo for Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg? Only if you say so.
Thomas Greiss for Steve Mason? Alrighty.
Torrey Mitchell for Corey Perry? It'll make sense in a minute.

So now the lines will look like this:

Alex Ovechkin-Joe Thornton-Zach Parise
Patrick Marleau-Joe Pavelski-Pavel Datsyuk
Jamie McGinn-Henrik Zetterberg-Devin Setoguchi
Jody Shelley-Scott Nichol-Crey Perry
Brad Staubitz

Evgeni Nabokov-Thomas Greiss

(There's no defense because ~~I forgot about it~~ I DON'T FEEL LIKE IT GOSH! So just plug in Sharks regular D)

So after reading this your first thought is, "THIS IS FREAKIN' GENIUS." After that you think, "What the hell is this mess. There's something called a salary cap." Well that's why I traded for Corey Perry. We'll have him stir up shit up in Bettman's office, and Gary will then forget about the Cap. Then Perry is immediately released and Brad Stuabitz takes his place.

With this San Jose Sharks team, they would be unstoppable. And if you're sill wondering why the other teams gave up their players? Well, they just got Roster-raped.

MORE DANY HEATLEY RUMORS!

2009-08-16T22:21:00.000-07:00

Just kidding, those have died down. Want to know why? Here's a ~~good~~ mediocre story:

People often ask what I like to do in my free time. I respond by saying, "talking to crazy people of course!" I talk to these crazy people about hockey. Today I talked to several people. Here they are:

Nobody:
Everybody:
Dany Heatley:And of course... me:Unknown Location

Dany Heatley: Who are you! And why are you in this unknown location?!
Me: Oh I just like to hang out here.
Dany Heatley: Okie dokie. Who are you again?
Me: I'm just a big Sharks fan.
Dany Heatley: I see...

Me: So... uh whats up?
Dany Heatley: Nothing really. I've been bored so I decided to mess with people.
Me: How so?
Dany Heatley: Ah, just demanding a few trades here and there.
Me: Dany, if you're going to act like this, nobody is going to like you.

Nobody enters the Unknown Location

Nobody: You know Dany... I've been noticing you around.
Dany Heatley: wtf?
Nobody: I really like you.
Dany Heatley: Thanks a lot man!
Me: I wouldn't really like it if nobody liked me.
Dany Heatley: You're just jealous nobody doesn't like you.
Me: Of course nobody doesn't like you. They had a huge fight a while ago.
Dany Heatley: okay... I'm confused now.
Me: No, you're Dany Heatley.
Dany Heatley: This isn't funny anymore.
Me: Who's this?
Dany Heatley: Is this why everybody hates you?

Everybody enters the Unknown Location

Everybody: Actually Dany, I really like me. He's awesome.
Dany Heatley: Okay, okay, okay. I've had enough with this! You said you were a Sharks fan correct?
Me: Yup.
Dany Heatley: I'm going to stop demanding a trade now just so I won't be traded to the Sharks, because I'd hate my life if you were a fan of a team I'm on.
Me: Alright.
Everybody: Woohoo! No Dany Heatley on the Sharks!
Nobody: But I really like Dany.

And THAT is how I convinced Dany Heatley NOT to go to the Sharks.

This post was inspired by the Plank dude.

Good Bye Jeremy Roenick.

2009-08-06T16:17:00.000-07:00

Today Jeremy Roenick officially announced his retirement. One of the greatest American-born hockey players is to play no more. Lucky for us fans JR is probably still going to be around. He said he might be on some shows or something and possibly be a studio analyst for CSN Bay Area (which would be awesome). And I'm sure he'd be on Dancing with the Stars (the only reason I'd ever watch that show).

As a San Jose Sharks fan I feel very lucky to have seen JR play. He is simply, just awesome. I was lucky enough to see his 500th goal, which was the most odd goal I've ever seen. I was even luckier to see Game 7 of the Sharks vs. Flames series in which he had 2 goals and 2 assists.

Let's just commemorate Jeremy Roenick's career by watching 500:

An in-depth look at Dany Heatly

2009-08-01T23:05:00.000-07:00

(yes I do realize that the title is spelled wrong)

Recently there have been plenty of rumors of Dany Heatley is on his way to the San Jose Sharks. Since this post is about Dany Heatley I'm going to spell his last name as "Heatly" because that E is annoying me and I don't really feel like typing it. So about those Heatly rumors... Some say a trade package involving Christian Ehrhoff, Jonathan Cheechoo, or even Captain Patrick Marleau *GASP* might be going to Ottawa. Let's take a look at the Pros and Cons of a trade involving Heatly.

PROS:

The Sharks would get Dany Heatly

CONS:

The Sharks would get Dany Heatly

So if the Sharks do in fact trade for Dany Heatly they would probably lose a player or something and Dany Heatly would be on the Sharks. If they don't trade for him, he probably won't be on the team.

Pretty interesting, eh?

Oh, and IFTT is going to be pretty awesome during August. Nothing like that crappy-1-post-July. Not that I have anything planned or something like that..... (really I don't)

HOLY CRAPEZOID!

2009-07-21T20:30:00.000-07:00

It's been almost a month without a post! That is terrible. My goal of one post a day has obviously not happened. So. Who's up for a rambling post? anyone? me? Certainly!

Here goes:
I have came up with a(nother) theory as to why the Sharks lost in the playoffs. (Yes, people still care) Let's start this up.

Does anyone think it is a little funny that the San Jose Sharks lost in the first round of the playoffs? The best team in the regular season, PRESIDENT TROPHY WINNERS lost to the lowly Anaheim Ducks. I think something is a little fishy here. Is it likely that the Sharks played terribly and went up against a hot goalie? A team that scored more goals than them? A team that has Corey Perry? No it is not likely that this has happened. I actually figured out the odds and it had a 0% chance of happening.

Let's take a look at what really happened. In the first game the God-like San Jose Sharks had 35 goals. The only problem though was some @$$hole goalie thought it would be funny to stop all of them. After that Evgeni Nabokov decided to let two goals in. Why you ask? Because its Evgeni Nabokov and he can do what he wants to do. The grossly inhumane Anaheim Ducks put in exactly 0% effort in that game. They showed no heart and didn't want to win.

Also Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton thought it would be funny to mess with the other team's mental state. They tried to score the least amount of goals as possible to give their team the psychological advantage. Obviously this worked very well. They played their hearts out and showed the desire to win.

Oddly enough this happened three more times. The ugly Ducks somehow won the series. They relied on luck and at one point they had 2 skaters on the ice. In fact some players on the Ducks have never even played hockey before. They just thought it would be an interesting 2nd job. One guy was even on the phone on the bench!

So the theory is, it was opposite week (or was it not opposite week) and the Sharks didn't get the memo. By playing so well it really messed up their chances of winning. And by the Ducks playing terrible, it made them win.

At the end of this theory let's just say no one knows what the hell happened, even the players. And thinking about this hockey makes me want the season to start, so let the 2009-2010 season start!!!! Wait we got a few months to go... Crapezoid.

I freakin hate twitter.

2009-06-29T19:51:00.001-07:00

I really really hate Twitter. So you know what I did. I made a twitter... You could find it here.

Notice that the URL is "IdeaFromTheTank" not "IdeaSFromTheTank" because Twitter is stupid.

Oh yeah why did I make it? Because everyone else does it. (yes I would jump off a bridge if you asked me too) Also so I could ~~stalk~~ follow people. And yes I'm extremely bored so I made this.

Oh twitter....

Also if you look for updates your wasting your time...

Blah.

2009-06-28T21:05:00.000-07:00

It's been 10 days since I've had a new post. Wow. Don't I suck at this thing...

I've been thinking about this for awhile now and I'd like to say that this would be the last post ever for Ideas From the Tank.

Just kidding (that sucks for you people who wanted it to end... you sick people)

So recently was the NHL Draft. The Sharks drafted two forwards and 3 defensemen. With one of the 2nd round draft picks the Sharks drafted William Wrenn. If you want to know about him, why the hell are you at my site!? (thanks? to the people that go to this site for that info, if they exist.)

I believe one of my first posts said or implied that I wouldn't really summarize things (such as a pre-game post) because there are probably a billion other places where you could get the same info. What I'm going to do is share here is my ~~crazy ideas~~ highly valued opinion.

Since the draft was on players I've never heard about until the day of the draft, I can't really say about how good they are (because they are good/they better be good). What I can say is one dude is 6'7"!!!! That's taller than the almighty Semenov!

So, who's with me when I say "LET THIS OFFSEASON BE OVER BECAUSE IT'S SOOOO BORING!" oh wait I think I still have to wait a few months... :(

I hate the offseason...

2009-06-18T15:48:00.000-07:00

It's soooo boring! Every time I go to NHL at Yahoo I have to see this stupid thing that says "No games today":But you know what? Today is the NHL Awards Ceremony... Yay? I'll have a little interest in it. Toddy Mac (sounds way better than his real name) will be there.
Congrats Todd!(?)

Awesome Things

2009-06-17T14:57:00.000-07:00

Lookie what I just got!

For 5 bucks too!

Now I can show my support for Alexei Semenov

The Penguins Won the Stanley Cup...

2009-06-12T22:23:00.000-07:00

...yay?

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't like the Penguins but I wouldn't like seeing Detroit win. With Pittsburgh winning I really hope we aren't bombarded with pictures of Crosby holding the Cup.

So, with this Stanley Cup Finals being over the off-season can start sooner. Now we can wait for those exciting moves Doug Wilson is going to make...!

And to end with an interesting picture.... here's Patrick Outman!:

Dude. What's with my shadow?

untitled (how creative!)

2009-06-05T01:01:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posts... if you were expecting them... if you are still reading... anyone?

Non-hockey following:

Thoughts in my head

Person #1 in my head: Hmmm... What can I post here on this site...?

Person #2 in my head: Dude! Post those completely unrelated awesome pictures you took the other day!

Person #1 in my head: Oh yeah! If only they were awesome...

Here goes...

Oh yeah one more thing. I remember saying recently that I can't draw. Well you know what? I can now! sort of... Look at these pictures!Not sure what animal it is, but it looks cool!

"It's a happy face." -Captain Obvious

The best for last, one of my personal favorites.

As you can see it's summer so I've got lots of time on my hands. If you're looking for random stuff during the offseason, this is the place!

What's gonna happen in the upcoming weeks.

2009-05-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

Are you curious who is going to win the Stanley Cup this year? Well I know who will. The Detroit Red Wings will defeat the Pittsburgh Penguins in 5 games. The thing I want least to happen, is going to happen. Let's take a look at what happened in the playoffs versus what I wanted to happen.

Starting in the East:

I wanted Montreal to sweep Boston. The exact opposite happened.

I wanted the Rangers to beat the Caps. It almost happened... but it didn't.

I wanted the Hurricanes to beat the Devils, and it miraculously happened!

I wanted the Flyers to beat the Pens but nope, they lost in 6.

In the West:

I was expecting Columbus to sweep Detroit but the opposite happened.

I wanted the Blues to beat the 'Nucks. Didn't happen.

I wanted the Blackhawks to beat the Flames. OMG it happened!

I wanted the Sharks to kill the Ducks. I think we all know how that turned out... (insert sad smiley face times a billion)

In the next round:

I wanted the 'Canes to beat the Bruins, and they did!

I wanted the Caps to beat the Pens, but nooooo, they had to lose.

I wanted the building to explode when the Ducks played the Wings. Obviously that didn't happen.

Chicago beat Vancouver... meh..

NEXT:

I was awaiting the Canes to win the Cup but the Pens swept them. I see the Hockey Gods just wanted to mess with me, and made me watch their incredible run, just to lose.

And tonight Detroit plays Chicago. I think we all know how that will turn out!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, with my history with the Hockey Gods (I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!) Detroit will win the Cup, I will be really sad, and there's nothing I can do about it...

Now if something else happens I'll be happy, but as history shows, what I want to win always loses.

What would I do if I were Doug Wilson?

2009-05-26T12:26:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah, I forgot I was supposed to write stuff... point of having a site... right? Here goes:

So lately there has been lots of talk about what the Sharks should do in the off-season. Who to sign and resign, stuff like that. Well, I have three steps to make the Sharks better.

1. Trade Joe Thornton

Don't get me wrong, but I love Joe Thornton. Why would I do this? Well I have devised a plan to make this work. Lately people been saying Nabokov isn't that good anymore. Therefore we'll trade Joe Thornton to the Columbus Blue Jackets for Steve Mason. Thing is, we won't actually trade Joe Thornton. We'll have Christian Ehrhoff dress up as Joe Thornton, wear #19 and everything. Now, Joe Thornton will forever be known as Christian Ehrhoff. Shhhhh... No one will ever know.

2. Sign the Sedin Twins

As many of you know, signing the Sedin Twins would put the Sharks over the Cap limit. Oh well. I found a way to make this work. The Sedins will get the "league minimum payment." What others don't know is Doug Wilson will also put 14 million dollars in an offshore bank account in the name of "Randall Stephens." Sedins will take the money from Stephens, and no one will know about the money. The Sedins will be happy with the money, and Shark fans will be happy with the Sedin Twins on the Sharks.

3. Get Ice Girls

Yes. The San Jose Sharks need ice girls. The last two season the Sharks lost to Anaheim and Dallas in the playoffs. Anaheim and Dallas both have ice girls. If the Sharks get ice girls, they'll get used to playing in front of them and won't be so nervous in the playoffs. Plus all the fans will be happy.

See my friends. With these three easy, simple steps the San Jose Sharks will be an even better team and will surely win the Stanley Cup.

By Popular Demand...

2009-05-22T00:22:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know, I love taking photographs. Funny story how it started. At my school you have to take at least one art class. There were several choices: Fine Arts, Ceramics, Percussion, Photography and more. Well, me being a slacker, I tried to choose the easiest one. Photography. Well in the class I learned that photography is in fact an art, and it does take some work to do. Well it turned out I like taking photographs. Here are my favorite 10 photographs:

(Quick note about the photographs: All of them are unedited except for the little name thingys)

FREEEEEEDDOOOOOMMMM!!!!!

2009-05-20T16:06:00.000-07:00

Schools out! Before everyone else! What's even better? More time for me to post stuff like this!

No way! What is it called? Going outside? Or maybe a sport?

Gee remember when you didn't have to play video games to be "fit"?

Yep, get used to it. What do you want me to post about? Latest Sharks news was this. Stick around though. Something good will come up. I mean it has to eventually.

I get letters

2009-05-18T13:22:00.000-07:00

I take back what I said. I said I shouldn't post. Will I? YES! Will they be interesting posts? NO WAY!

Anyway, earlier today I received a letter. More of a complaint actually. Here it is:

My complaint about Sir Idunno723

Recent troubling developments prompt me to revisit a subject I've discussed in the past: Sir Idunno723 and his plan to represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world. I assume you already know that if the country were overrun by the most manipulative scroungers you'll ever see, we could expect to observe widespread discrimination in our daily lives—stares from sales clerks, taxis that don't stop, and unwarranted license and registration checks by police, but I have something more important to tell you. When he says that arriving at a true state of comprehension is too difficult and/or time-consuming, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. He believes, in his elitist delirium, that cultural tradition has never contributed a single thing to the advancement of knowledge or understanding. I've already explained why but let me add that he seeks scapegoats for his own shortcomings by blaming the easiest target he can find, that is, pea-brained caitiffs.

Some pesky pantywaists are actually considering helping Idunno723 pass off all sorts of selfish and obviously mentally deficient stuff on others as a so-called "inner experience". How quickly such people forget that they were lied to, made fun of, and ridiculed by Idunno723 on numerous occasions. Even with the increasing number of obstreperous wily-types, when I was younger I wanted to allay the concerns of the many people who have been harmed by him. I still want to do that but now I realize that his behavior might be different if he were told that his witticisms serve only to safeguard his own power and privilege. Of course, as far as Idunno723's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that if his bromides get any more malodorous, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep.

Idunno723 demands that we make a choice. Either we let him combine, in a rare mixture, bestial cruelty and an inconceivable gift for lying or he'll push all of us to the brink of insanity. This "choice" exemplifies what is commonly known as a "false dichotomy" or "the fallacy of the excluded middle" because it denies other alternatives, such as that the biggest supporters of Idunno723's effete, inarticulate slurs are biased manipulators of the public mind and cantankerous, repugnant dopeheads. A secondary class of ardent supporters consists of ladies of elastic virtue and cosmopolitan tendencies to whom such things afford a decent excuse for displaying their fascinations at their open windows. He lives for one reason and for one reason only: to supplant national heroes with what I call unruly bullies. To bring the matter closer to home, let me remind you that Idunno723's mandarin prose has always appealed to hectoring quidnuncs. That's pretty transparent. What's not so transparent is the answer to the following question: Why can't Idunno723 simply enjoy the fruits of his own labors and let other people enjoy the fruits of theirs? A clue might be that Idunno723 claims to be supportive of my plan to make some changes here. Don't trust him, though; he's a wolf in sheep's clothing. Before you know it, he'll rot our minds with the hallucinatory drug of adversarialism. Not only that, but every time Idunno723 attempts to destroy the lives of good, honest people, I feel a surge of pure, unadulterated hatred flow through my body. To cap that off, the very genesis of his irascible invectives is in mercantalism. And it seems to me to be a neat bit of historic justice that Idunno723 will eventually himself be destroyed by mercantalism.

Sure, Idunno723 talks the talk but does he walk the walk? The only clear answer to emerge from the conflicting, contradictory stances that Idunno723 and his followers take is that the ability to artistically arrange words in an amusing manner does not qualify someone to be the leading social voice of a country. He accuses me of being a liar. The only proven liar around here, however, is Idunno723. Only a die-hard liar like Idunno723 could claim that he can change his conscienceless ways. The truth, in case you haven't already figured it out, is that he maintains that either people are pawns to be used and manipulated or that public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. Idunno723 denies any other possibility. We'd all be in grave danger if he continued to engage in his peremptory behavior.

If Idunno723 gets his way, none of us will be able to rage, rage against the dying of the light. Therefore, we must not let Idunno723 issue a flood of bogus legal documents. With friends like him, who needs enemies? I mean, Idunno723 can't see the forest for the trees. I could write pages on the subject, but the following should suffice. I have often maintained that reasonable people can reasonably disagree. Unfortunately, when dealing with Idunno723 and his backers, that claim assumes facts not in evidence. So let me claim instead that Idunno723 is not only immoral, but amoral. In closing, all that I ask is that you join me to stop Sir Idunno723 and compile readers' remarks and suggestions and use them to reach out for things with permanence, things beyond wealth and comfort and pleasure, things that have real meaning.

WOW! I got nothing out of that. Thanks to this site.

Shall we end with a funny video? Please don't watch near children. NSFW or whatever acronym it is. Contains language (in English actually). Don't say I didn't warn you! Here goes:

It's the off season... Get used to this stuff.

Look it what I found!

2009-05-17T00:19:00.001-07:00

My dog is gonna be an even bigger Sharks fan!

Not much to post about here... and not much posts until Wednesday. idunno723 has finals next week. He needs to study, I mean he basically is failing because he watched to much hockey.

Wanna end on a funny picture? Here goes:

Byyyeeee. See you on Wednesday night, when my next post will most likely be!

State of the Sharks!

2009-05-14T22:46:00.000-07:00

I had a great experience at State of the Sharks. And no it wasn't about the questions and learning about what happened to the Sharks, what can be done, what's wrong with the planes and why there are no ice-girls (if you went you know what I'm talking about!). It was a good experience for me because I shook hands with Doug Wilson and Todd McLellan. To some that might not mean a lot, but to me it meant a lot. Let's break down what happen.

I got there with four questions in mind. Three of which I already posted below (c'mon you've been reading this site right?!) and one of which was inspired by mattman of FTF. It had to do about the management regretting letting injured players play during a (somewhat) meaningless end of the regular season, instead of having a healthy Sharks in the playoffs. So, I sat there in the crowd with my sister and listened to the questions and what the people had to say. Oh yeah, the people there were Greg Jamison, Doug Wilson, Todd McLellan. The players who were there for about an hour (or so) were Joe Pavelski, Dan Boyle, Joe Thornton, and Patrick Marleau. Mike Ricci surprised everybody and came out once all the players left.

So, after a while of listening I finally got the courage to go down to the floor and ask a question. The dude in the (blue/purple?) jacket told me I had to go around. I had to walk all the way to the other side (I'm lazy, huge effort) up and down all the stairs. I took a detour to the bathroom if you really wanted to know. I went down all the stairs and took a seat on the floor. I probably waited more than an hour in line to ask a question. Finally when I was about 5 people away, Randy Hahn said that SotS has to end but we could ask questions up close and personal with Doug Wilson, Todd McLellan, Mike Ricci, and Greg Jamison. I was nervous as heck (family blog eh?) when I was waiting in line to talk to them. I watched a guy take 2 minutes to explain what he thought was wrong with a Sharks and stuff like that. Doug Wilson replied with less than 20 words.

I figure Doug doesn't care about a question so I said to him, "I figure a handshake is more valuable for me than to ask a question. (Shakes hand) I just wanna say thanks for all your work for the Sharks, the fans really appreciate it. I love watching hockey so I just want to thank you for all you do." I don't even know what Doug said to me, I was shocked. I did the same thing with Todd and left. I'm still pretty much shocked on how cool this experience was.

Oh, I forgot to mention what my question would've been. Waiting in line so long I had at least 50 versions of the same question. If I got to it, it would have gone along like this: " Hi guys! Just to let you guys know, the fans appreciate what you do a lot. You guys are awesome. I watched 79 games this season and listened to the rest on the radio. I love everything about the Sharks. I try to learn as much about them as possible. I even participate in a website called "Fear the Fin.com" to learn about the Sharks. I listen to every interview you guys do with KNBR and try to read every article about the Sharks there is. Some of the articles I read come from the Mercury News and they have writers such as Tim Kawakami and Mark Purdy. Those journalists suggest taking the captaincy away from Patrick Marleau and separating Patty and Big Joe. How do you guys deal with all this negativity. Also is it true that if you take that "C" off of Patty's jersey and stitch it on to someone elses jersey, does it really make the Sharks any better?"

Yep, I would've done a FTF shout out, sort of.

Overall I don't even remember what went on. All I know was talking to Doug and Todd was awesome.

Potential Questions for the State of the Sharks

2009-05-12T15:11:00.000-07:00

1) To anybody:

At the beginning of the season it was said that this was the best team in Sharks history and it seemed like this team had all of the pieces to win the Stanley Cup. Obviously that did not happen. What was missing from the Sharks and what went wrong?

2) To Joe Pavelski and Dan Boyle:

Both of you guys are very similar. You're both the same height and college guys. Joe Pavelski you were a 7th round pick and Dan you went undrafted. When you guys finished college, did you know you were going to be in the NHL (and be awesome) or was it something you worked your butt of to do.

3) To anyone:

What have you guys learned from the previous season and how you can improve on it to be even better next year?

Hopefully State of the Sharks will be a good experience.

SEE It's a Site not a Blog!

2009-05-12T15:00:00.000-07:00

I WIN!

Adventure of the Day: Sickeness

2009-05-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

The following takes place between 7:00 A.M. and 8:00 A.M.

7:40 (I'm in the car going to school) Hmmm... my stomach feels funny, maybe if I eat something I'll feel better. I'll get something at school.

7:50 What should I eat today? I think I'll go to Cindy's Deli. Those bagels with ham, cheese, and eggs look pretty good. What? Two bucks? Awesome, what a steal.

7:55 OH MY GOD! MY STOMACH IS BURNING and this bagel is really really good. Might as well try to finish it... Why's it taking so long to eat? I normally eat these things in a few seconds.

7:56 CAN'T...EAT...ANYMORE! I feel light headed, I'm just gonna chill in this chair for a bit.

The following takes place from 8:00 A.M. and 9:00 A.M.

8:00 Uh-oh I'm gonna be late for class, better get going.

8:01 WHY IS MY CLASS ALL THE WAY ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS, THIS IS TAKING FOREVER...

8:02 I don't think I could make it... I don't think I could make it... I don't think I could make it... Just keep walking Nathan... I don't think I could make it... I don't think I could make it...

8:03 My head and stomach feel funny? WTF?! Oh nice a rail I could lean on. I'm just gonna chill here for a bit.

8:04 Oh great my friend that always messes with me is walking by. "Hey dude, don't touch me I feel like I'm gonna puke." (insert puke making noise here)

8:05 My friend says, "Hey dude you should really see the nurse. You should go home." (In my head) Oh yeahhh that's a good idea.

8:10 Me talks to the nurse. In my head, "Woah the nurse is a dude." Advises me go home... Me call mother... Mother on her way.

8:25 FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahh what a good day...

Figuring Out This New Site Stuff

2009-05-11T19:01:00.000-07:00

Look it what I did! Scroll all the way down and you see something saying "sitemeter". Underneath it is probably a 3 or a number a little higher. What's that you ask? Why it's the number of views this site is getting. I saw the thing at the bottom at Fear the Fin and I thought, why not.

Let's compare our views...

As you can see my site reaches the very top of the graph...

As you can see FTF's not so much...

Also my site has been going on for about 3 days too...
(Thanks misleading graphs)

Something new? Now you could also see the logo thingy is not so gigantically huge anymore.

I was gonna do one of those "~~Blogs~~ Sites I read" but that took too long for me. I gave up after two minutes.

Any tips/suggestions? I mean, it's probably impossible to make this site look even cooler...

[Update]The hell? Those graphs update themselves?!

Top 5 Reasons the Sharks Failed in the Playoffs

2009-05-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

(According to the media)

5. Claude Lemieux provided too much veteran leadership.

4. Previous seasons somehow made the Sharks play worse this season.

3. Jonas Hiller never played hockey in his life before, therefore the Sharks suck.

2. The Sharks had no heart. (The physical heart, not the courage crap. They're robots.)

1. Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton let in too many goals.

Why start this thing post Shark misery?

2009-05-09T23:12:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost summer and I've got to much time on my hands. So why am I doing this?

1) I want to get the "right ideas" across.

Guys like Kawakami and Purdy are truly an inspiration. Guys like them have been spreading the wrong ideas. Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton deserve to be on the Sharks. They have played through injuries trying to help the Sharks go somewhere in the playoffs but aren't able too. Immediately they're labeled "chokers". If they didn't play through injuries they would've been called "wimps" and have a "lack of heart". Either way it's a lose-lose situation if the Sharks don't win in the playoffs. Even if Marleau scores 68487 goals in the series and the Sharks lose, it's still his fault because he didn't lead the team. If only Kawakami and Purdy had the brains to write articles defending the Sharks instead of taking the easy way out and bash the Sharks in order to keep their job.

2) I friggin' love the Sharks maaannnn.

I watched 79 games last season and the other 3 I listened to the end of the game on the radio. Now, I don't want to say I'm a "true" Sharks fan because the term "true fan" is a joke. When someone wants to tell someone they watch the Sharks some say they are a "true fan." A true fan wouldn't say they're a "true fan." Than people call other people "true fans." They only say that to show they are such good fans that they have the ability to call someone a "true fan." I used to think a "true fan" is a myth. Not anymore. A true fan is a person who knows their stuff, loves the team, and doesn't show off their "knowledge." Not the dude at the bar (restaurant in my case) that rambles on, speaking loudly, about how Thornton makes assists not score goals. True fans are rare.

3) I wanna be like the dudes over at FTF (Fear the Fin).

Someday I hope I'll know hockey and Sharks just as much as they do (awww how cute). I'm still learning hockey if you guys didn't know. When someone says "Pavelski's been good on the forecheck" or something like that I usually don't detect that. The little things. Hopefully I can be a super hockey fan soon.

Oh and you know since I'm still learning this hockey thing, if I'm ever wrong please correct me. I'll appreciate it 100 percently (percently just sounds so perfect).

Another thing, I did notice how crappy the logo thingy turned out. The blurriness (sort of) around the words. Too lazy to fix it. I don't think it needs fixing anyway. It's unperfectness is perfect IMO.

WELCOME TO IDEAS FROM THE TANK!

2009-05-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

IT'S FINALLY HERE!!!! AKSJF;ASDFJ;ERJEW;R!!!!
Wait, what... Nobody was expecting it? Oh well...

Nobody: Actually I was expecting it.

So yeah... Ideas From the Tank (IFTT) is gonna be my take on the San Jose Sharks, hockey, and other sports that are important enough to be here.

So, you guys are probably wondering what the hell is up with the picture/words on top. I thought plain words at the top would be kind of boring. I thought it would be cool to make a picture. Well, I have no artistic ability and I thought this is the best I've got. And if it isn't cool, I'll make it cool (OH YEAH!).

Where does "idunno723" come from? This is a good story:

When I was a little kid I played video games all the time. Before I even knew how to read! Anyway one time I was playing this NBA basketball game with my cousin and we had to make up a name. When my cousin asked me what my name should be I said, "I don't know." He than continued to make my name "idunno." Being around 4 at the time I thought it was the most hilarious thing ever. Later when I made e-mails and stuff "idunno" just stuck. And why "723"? That's my birthday.

So, that's it for my first post. I still gotta tweak some things around too. I hope you guys stick around cause it's not like this site could get any worse.

Oh one last note. It's a site not a blog. I can't stand that word "blog", it just sounds so cheesy. Got it? okay good.

Okay, okay this is the last note. I honestly don't know what this site will turn into or what its purpose is. I guess I'll find out!