Showing posts with label Conspiracy theories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Conspiracy theories. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Antti Niemi: Tragic Hero (minus the hero part)

On September 2nd of 2010 Antti Niemi signed with the San Jose Sharks. Nearly all Sharks fans had their doubts about this. It made no sense, it was already decided that Antero Nittymaki was going to be part of a tandem with Thomas Greiss. The move to sign Niemi didn't seem to improve the Sharks, a lateral move at best. A move to add a defenseman, a position of need, never came. Fans saw an opportunity to improve the team but with Niemi taking up cap space, that opportunity was not realistic. It was a baffling situation.

Today, in February, we find out these doubts still hold. Niemi has been awful. He has been playing just as everybody has expected him to; huge rebounds and depending on the teams defense. Sure, sure please throw out those stats that suggest he has been completely outplaying Niittymaki. Those numbers mean nothing. It's much too big to be a coincidence that when the Sharks lose a game with Niemi, it's his fault and when the Sharks win, it's because the team in front plays well.

Niemi isn't what you call a "team player." He's not somebody you want to play for. Obviously there's some ill-will towards Niemi after he beat the Sharks last season in the playoffs. It's clear in the concrete stats of wins and losses. Ok, maybe Niemi has 20 wins but he also has 15 losses (!!!). Niittymaki on the other hand only has 6. This gives some indication on how the team feels about him. When he's in net, the Sharks don't want to score goals. Clear as that. Now I don't want to start any baseless speculation or conspiracy theories but I'm guessing it's obvious that Niemi is a locker-room cancer, more so than Dany Heatley.

Despite Niemi's many shortcomings, he does prove well in one regard. He has a history of being offensively gifted, and he has shown this in the 1 assist he has recorded. It came on the power play too. Guess how many points Niittymaki has. It's a big fat zero, the only area Niitty has been disappointing. Also, even though they didn't play together, it seems like Niitty learned something from Brad Staubitz; taking dumb penalties. He has 2 PIM so far this season. At least Niemi has none.

So, what should the Sharks do about this situation? Trade, waive, do whatever to Niemi so he's not on the team anymore. The team has so much depth, literally anyone in the entire organization could do better than him in goal. And yes, that includes Jonathan Cheechoo who should be up with the big club when underachievers like Devin Setoguchi and Jamie McGinn are (I'll save that argument for another post).

Saturday, July 31, 2010

RFA Devin Setoguchi Re-signs with the Sharks

Today Devin Setoguchi re-signed with the Sharks for $1.8 million on a one year deal. This figure appeared surprisingly low for the up and coming right winger. In his sophomore season he scored 31 goals on the top line. This last season he scored only 20 after being slowed down by injuries. It was believed that he would sign around 2.00-3.00MM. Instead the former first-round pick signed for 1.8MM. Shocking.

Actually no. Not really.

Just one month ago Sharks defensman Niclas Wallin was re-signed to a contract with a 2.5MM cap hit. Yes, a surprising number at the time. Why would the Sharks pay so much for what appears to be a lower line defenseman? Also why would the Sharks trade a 2nd round pick for him?

Were facing a lot of questions here. However when you think about it, it really makes a whole lot of sense.

Before you start reading this, let's make sure you're not in a stressful situation. The next part is MIND-BLOWING.

First question: Why is Niclas Wallin valued so much by the Sharks?

One word, HAMBURGERS. Wallin is notoriously known as an avid hamburger lover. But what does Hamburgers have to do with this? Everything (duh). He came at a high cost for a second round pick for a reason. The Hurricanes valued him for a lot and weren't letting him get away easy. You see, Wallin owned a burger joint in Raleigh. This burger joint was very important for the area. That is why when you google "Niclas Wallin burger joint raleigh" nothing shows up. These people were all very attached and couldn't move on so easily, so they deleted all traces to it.

Second question:
Why is Wallin being paid so much?

As you know, Wallin's burger joint had many fans. When they learned that the place was closing down they became angry, and I mean ANGRY. Let's just say they hypothetically threatened to do horrific things to Wallin and the people he knows. If Wallin hypothetically wanted to get rid of these people, he would have to hypothetically need a lot of money to hypothetically make these people "quietly disappear." This is all hypothetical of course.

Third question
: Why is Devin Setoguchi being paid so little?

He's actually a really good guy. Kind of a douche, but a good guy (I mean there's a reason he's known as Devin the Douche). He heard about Wallin's trouble and decided to ask Doug Wilson if there was a way he could help out. Being Devin the Douche, he's been in a lot of similar situations. Most of which, your mother would not approve of. He took a huge discount so Wallin could solve his troubles. He actually asked for a league minimum contract but DW decided that would make him look to good so he gave him 1.8MM.

Understand people? This situation was a thinker, but it just makes too much sense. Now if Wallin wasn't such a burger-addict, his and Seto's contracts would have been reversed. So in the end, well played Sharks!

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


It's been almost a month without a post! That is terrible. My goal of one post a day has obviously not happened. So. Who's up for a rambling post? anyone? me? Certainly!

Here goes:
I have came up with a(nother) theory as to why the Sharks lost in the playoffs. (Yes, people still care) Let's start this up.

Does anyone think it is a little funny that the San Jose Sharks lost in the first round of the playoffs? The best team in the regular season, PRESIDENT TROPHY WINNERS lost to the lowly Anaheim Ducks. I think something is a little fishy here. Is it likely that the Sharks played terribly and went up against a hot goalie? A team that scored more goals than them? A team that has Corey Perry? No it is not likely that this has happened. I actually figured out the odds and it had a 0% chance of happening.

Let's take a look at what really happened. In the first game the God-like San Jose Sharks had 35 goals. The only problem though was some @$$hole goalie thought it would be funny to stop all of them. After that Evgeni Nabokov decided to let two goals in. Why you ask? Because its Evgeni Nabokov and he can do what he wants to do. The grossly inhumane Anaheim Ducks put in exactly 0% effort in that game. They showed no heart and didn't want to win.

Also Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton thought it would be funny to mess with the other team's mental state. They tried to score the least amount of goals as possible to give their team the psychological advantage. Obviously this worked very well. They played their hearts out and showed the desire to win.

Oddly enough this happened three more times. The ugly Ducks somehow won the series. They relied on luck and at one point they had 2 skaters on the ice. In fact some players on the Ducks have never even played hockey before. They just thought it would be an interesting 2nd job. One guy was even on the phone on the bench!

So the theory is, it was opposite week (or was it not opposite week) and the Sharks didn't get the memo. By playing so well it really messed up their chances of winning. And by the Ducks playing terrible, it made them win.

At the end of this theory let's just say no one knows what the hell happened, even the players. And thinking about this hockey makes me want the season to start, so let the 2009-2010 season start!!!! Wait we got a few months to go... Crapezoid.